what a depressing moments

all i can say is, lately has been the most difficult moment in my life. i have no idea what to do,im confuse,i dont have a clue to come up with the good solution for this.

it feels like im surrounded by a very huge wall and i have no where to go out of there.it used to be a very fun times for me ,enjoying what i do,but now to me its like swimming in dark water.i cant look anywhere,i cant feel anything but the cold and the bubbles and slowly the water fill me and drowned me.empty,lonely and blank.like there's no point in surviving , no meaning in trying to stand up and be brave anymore coz its pointless.i cant achieve anything here anymore.no more expectation..

just for this part of my life i wont go wasting my precious time,i just want to let it go easily.throw away the burden in my head.i still be able to pick the better and nicer even nicest flower,then feel the breeze of the weather.feel the wind in my arm,admiring God's creation in my eyes. the waves of the ocean and warmth of the morning sunlight.please let me feel all that again.please let me go from this torturing thoughts....

Please God Taskete kudasai,only You who can,nobody else can..

rekomendasiku utk drama bersetting sekolah(sma)

Disini yg akan dibahas adalah drama2 yg berkaitan dengan sekolah,guru,murid SMA.ada yg menginspirasi,ada yg bikin kontroversi,ada tentang persahabatan,ada tentang prestasi,dan tak lupa bumbu utamanya adalah cinta.

I.yang memberi inspirasi
ada beberapa drama yg menurut saya sangat bagus,keren dan sarat pesan moral terutama dalam menatap masa depan untuk setiap org.
1.GTO(great teacher onizuka)
cerita berpusat pada seorg laki2 yg mantan anggota geng motor dan lulus kuliah pada universitas yg level biasa saja,dia berkeinginan jadi guru untuk mendidik muridnya agar lebih baik dalam menata masa depan.gaya yg cuek abis dan slengean membuat murid dan rekan guru yg lain awalnya memandang remeh.tapi dia membuktikan hal yg dia yakini itu benar.pokoke keren bgt,ampe nonton 3x ga bosen2.apalagi chemistry karakter2nya dapet ampe cinlok dan nikah beneran.yg main takashi sorimachi dan nanako matsushima.diangkat dari manga dengan judul yg sama dan ada 1 movie setelah dramanya.

2.Gokusen
ini tentang cucu pimpinan yakuza generasi ketiga yg berkeinginan kuat sebagai guru yg berdedikasi tinggi,dan selalu menghadapi murid yg nakal,cinta yg ga kesampaian dan joke2 lucu juga pesan moral bahwa tdk selamanya yg dicap buruk dilingkungan masyarakat adalah benar2 buruk alias dont judge a book by its cover.dibuat sampai 3 season dengan murid yg berbeda.diangkat dari manga,tapi yg benar2 mengacu pada manganya hanya gokusen season1 dan itu yg terbaik.pemerannya yukie nakama dengan matsu jun,shun oguri(season1)kamenashi kazuya,anakishi jin(season2),haruma miura,takaki yuya(season3).dari gto dan gokusen ada benang merah yg sama bahwa guru seharusnya menjadi panutan terbaik,mendidik dan percaya pada murid tanpa pandang bulu dan berdedikasi tinggi pd profesinya.sesuatu yg mungkin sudah jarang ada.

3.Dragon sakura
seorang pengacara bertekad meluluskan 5 murid dari SMA dengan rating terendah(dianggap sekolah dgn murid paling bodoh)untuk masuk ke universitas tokyo yg notabene universitas no.1 di Jepang.perjuangan dan cara belajar yg menarik adlah jalan cerita utamanya.sangat bagus untuk memotivasi diri bahwa tdk ada satu org pun didunia ini yg bodoh kalo dia berusaha semua menjadi sangat mungkin.pemerannya adalah Abe hiroshi,yamapi,yui aragaki,dll.

4.i litre of tears
kisah nyata seorg murid sma yg mengidap penyakit ataksia dan tdk dpt disembuhkan.bercerita tentang semua perjuangan sampe akhir yg dilakoninya.tdk ada kata menyerah dan terus berusaha bangkit.buku diarinya laku dijepang sana.pemerannya erika sawajiri.

II.yang penuh kontroversi
1.Majo no Jouken(forbidden love)
kisah tentang seorang guru wanita berumur 27th dan telah bertunangan,tadinya bersedia menikah atas nama kepatutan sosial,desakan org tua dan lingkungan.tapi dia merasa tertekan dengan semua tuntutan tersebut dan kemudian mendapat seorg murid baru yg bermasalah.tapi siapa nyana keduanya malah lebih dekat dan bisa saling terbuka akhirnya saling jatuh cinta.pengorbanan utk cinta,ego,tekanan org sekitar menjadi rangkaian disepanjang episode awal sampai akhir. pemerannya nanako matsushima dan hideaki takizawa.

2.Kou kou kyoshi 2003(high school teacher 2003)
ini adalah remake dari drama yg sama beberapa tahun sebelumnya.jalan cerita nyaris tak terlalu berubah.sedikit kelam.tentang seorg guru laki2 yg divonis mengidap kanker otak dan hidup tak akan lama lg.kemudian saling jatuh cinta dengan salah satu muridnya.cinta,penghianatan,mewarnai kisah ini.pemerannya fujiki naohito dan aya ueto.

3.Kamisama mou sokushi dake(God,please give me more time)
tentang seorang murid sma yg broken home,dia menjual keperawanannya demi sebuah tiket untuk menonton konser dari komposer pujaannya dan ternyata tertular HIV-aids akibat perbuatannya itu.sang komposer akhirnya jatuh cinta dan mereka sempat merasakan kebahagiaan dgn menikah sebelum akhirnya sang wanita pergi utk selamanya.pemerannya adalah kyoko fukada,takeshi kaneshiro,yukie nakama.

4.my boss my hero
seorang penerus yakuza yg sedikit bodoh dan tidak lulus sma dipaksa sang ayah untuk melanjutkan sisa sma nya.masalahnya dia kini berumur 27th dan sangat pemarah.dibumbui cerita2 lucu dan sangat menghibur.

5.stand up
cerita tentang american pie nya jepang.sekelompok cowok yg ingin melepaskan keperjakaannya sebelum kuliah tetapi banyak hambatan dari pihak org tua dan lingkungan sekolah. dimainkan oleh ninomiya kazunari,yamapi,dll.

III.yang mengagungkan cinta dan persahabatan
1.Nobuta wo produce
seorang murid cowok yg terkenal disekolah bersama seorang temannya berusaha merubah seorg murid cewek yg sangat pendiam agar menjadi cewek terkenal disekolahnya.dimainkan oleh kamenashi kazuya,yamapi dan horikita maki.persahabatan yg erat terjalin dengan berjalannya waktu.

2.Strawberry on the shortcake
tentang seseorang yg bernama manato,dengan kepribadian yg berusaha disembunyikan dibalik sebuah kacamata,jatuh hati pada saudara tirinya.tapi semua tidak semudah yg dia bayangkan.dan selalu diungkapkan lewat gambaran kue shortcake dengan stroberi diatasnya.diperankan oleh kyoko fukada dan hideaki takizawa.

4.Hanazakari no kimitachi-e
karena merasa bersalah menyebabkan sang idola tak dapat lg menekuni profesinya,seorg cewek memberanikan diri menyamar sebagai seorg cowok disekolah sang idola yg khusus cowok.sangat lucu dan menghibur(bukan versi taiwan).diperankan oleh horikita maki,shun oguri dan ikuta toma.

5.hana yori dango
tak perlu panjang lebar membahas ini karena sangat terkenal dengan meteor garden(walau settingnya kuliah),dlm drama jepang,semua dikembalikan pada cerita manganya menjadi anak sma.sangat menghibur dan lebih bagus.

IV.yg mengedepankan prestasi(terutama olahraga)
1.Attack no.1
tentang seorg pemain voli wanita berbakat dan lika liku kehidupannya selama menjalani training dan kompetisi sekolah dan nasional.pemerannya Aya ueto

2.Ace wo nerae
hampir serupa dengan diatas dan pemeran utamanya juga sama tapi membahas tentang olah raga tenis lapangan.

3.H2 kimi to itahibi
pemain berbakat dibidang olahraga baseball yg mencari jati diri dan dilema ditengah persahabatan,cinta pertama dan cinta yg baru.pemainnya yamada takayuki dan isihara satomi.

mungkin masih ada tapi selainnya ini kebanyakan drama tentang lingkungan kerja,kuliah dan yg bersetting jaman baheula.semua saya rekomendasikan sebagai tontonan yg bagus dan bermutu.saya hanya membayangkan kapan yah sinetron indonesia kemaali pada akarnya yg lebih baik.daripada seperti sekarang yg tidak karuan dan asal2an.

Shonen atau Shoujo(bagi penggemar manga)

Shonen adalah  anak laki2 (ya abg gt) dan Shoujo adalah anak perempuan,kalo secara arti kata masing2.

kalo kita pernah tau ato bahkan punya shonen magz itu artinya sebuah majalah yg isinya rata2 manga untuk anak cowok,macam Naruto,Bleach, One piece,Dragon Ballz,dll. manga yg bertanda shonen berarti komik yg rata2 cowok bgt.coba perhatiin naruto,bleach,dll.mana ada adegan cinta2an yg banyak,yg ada malah pertarungan,persahabatan,dimana romantisme adalah hal yg dipinggirkan.

sedang Shoujo magz adalah kebalikannya.dengan rata2 usia penikmat majalah yg hampir sama,bahasan manga2 didalamnya malah romantisme jadi bumbu utama.yg lain2nya tidak penting,apalagi pertarungan kyknya ga tuh.romantika cinta pertama,pacar pertama bahkan malam pertama(meskipun tdk nikah dulu, ups!)disitu dibahas abis.dimana untuk cinta apapun bukan masalah meskipun pasangan yg dicintainya adalah robot macam zettai kareshi.saya sarankan malah kalo bisa abg cewek sebaiknya malah jgn baca karena rate usia malah lebih condong untuk umur 18+.

di Jepang sendiri,manga ada beberapa kategori,seperti: kodomo(anak2 kecil) ,shonen (abg cowok), shoujo(abg cewek),trus buat yg dewasa bgt(saya lupa istilahnya nih).beda dengan amerika yg men -rate semua komik hanya untuk anak kecil.

cuma mau nyaranin,bijaksanalah saat membeli(ngiklan bgt) dan hindarkan dari jangkauan anak2 

yukie nakama : trick,gokusen,shinobi...dll

saya ga akan ngebahas biodata dia karena itu gampang dilihat di website wikipedia.org/j.dorama.com, kalo mau lengkap bgt.tapi saya cuma ngebahas apa yg saya tahu dari apa yg saya udah tonton.

yukie nakama adalah aktris yg terjun ke dunia akting setelah jadi model bikini terkenal di Jepang sono.(rata2 aktris Jepang ada foto bikininya).saya pernah nonton dia meranin karakter antagonis di drama Kamisama,mou sokushi dake/God,please give me more time(sori kalo salah,abis bukan org jepang sih) dimana pemeran utamanya adalah favorit saya,aktris Kyoko Fukada waktu masih abg,ama Takeshi kaneshiro(itu loh yg maen ama Zhang zi yi dan Andy lau difilm  house of flying dagger).balik lagi ke neng Yukie ini,dia disitu jadi cewek yg ngebet abis ama cowoknya tapi bertepuk sebelah tangan karena cowoknya lbh milih kyoko-chan yg ternyata menderita HIV gt ceritanya.kalo mau jelas tonton sendiri ceritanya.pokoke rame lah walaupun lumayan berat. 

baru abis yg itu dia kebagian peran utama macam di Trick dgn lawan main Abe hiroshi(yg jd pengacara di Dragon zakura),sampe 3 season dan 2 movie segala.ceritanya di trick itu dia sebagai org yg jago sulap trus selalu pengen ngebuktiin kalo org2 yg ngaku punya kekuatan supranatural itu ga ada alias mereka bohong belaka.ditemenin ama profesor yg diperanin Abe,trus meskipun saling ejek masalah fisik dan penampilan msg2,love-hate gitu,tp saling membutuhkan,peduli dan sebenernya saling cinta.ehmm chemistry dapet,lucu juga,tegang ya ama mikir...dua jempol lah.sekarang juga lg hunting trick the movie2 nya tp lumayan susah nih. 

trus yg terkenal bgt ya Gokusen,ini juga ampe tiga jilid(meskipun yg ketiga garink bgt). dia disitu meranin guru dengan dedikasi segunung untuk merubah anak2 nakal yg ga bisa diharepin jadi tunas bangsa yg bermartabat yuuu.padahal dia adalah cucu dari pimpinan yakuza generasi ketiga,bahkan digadang2 bakal jadi penerus dan pewaris generasi yg ke empat(jadi inget my boss my hero,kalo ada sangkut pautnya ama yakuza).dia jadi guru yg cintanya susah kesampaian dan jd bahan olokan masalah pakaian.yg kena bgt ya gokusen 1 bgs bgt!..sesuai manga aslinya.jilid yg kedua ya gitu lah,jilid yg ketiga not recommended.kacian bgt ya ga merit2 perannya sedangkan muridnya aja merit ama punya anak.. 

sedangkan gambar diatas itu adalah drama yg judulnya Face,dia meranin cewek yg jatuh cinta ama cowok dgn kepribadian ganda.belum nonton...huhuhu

dia juga beberapa kali maen film,cuma yg berkesan waktu dia maen di shinobi.keren abis. katanya juga dia adalah ratu iklan.banyak bgt iklan yg memakai jasa dia sebagai ikon produck mereka.kalo masalah cowok,setahu saya sih dia lg tdk terikat ama siapa2.meskipun dulu pernah dikabarkan cinlok ama Matsu Jun yg meranin Sawada di gokusen jilid 1.tapi semuanya tetep ga jelas dan ga ada kepastian ya trus nguap deh tuh gosip.apalagi sekarang Matsu jun-nya lg deket ama Mao inoue(yg jadi Tsukushi di hana yori Dango,alias cinlok lg deh).

Asalnya saya pikir dia sama kayak Aya Ueto yg tidak pernah membiarkan siapapun mencium bibirnya kalo di drama.ternyata ga se naif itu.di film Game,dia lumayan berani jg meskipun tidak seronok.malah jadi penasaran..he he..

kalo saya rekomendasiin sih filmnya dia yg bagus :trick1,trick3(trick2 kurang menggigit...) gokusen 1,2(gokusen3 sebaiknya ngga),shinobi,dive deep,kamisama mou sokushi dake.

kalo yg Face ama Game saya belum bisa ngomong karena blum nonton..jadi ya masih penasaran.kalo ada berita terbaru ntar di update lah... 

my jdorama idol

this is my japan idols.the guy is Hideaki Takizawa, and the girl is Kyoko Fukada.
They played together in drama Strawberry in Shortcake as step siblings but turn into lovers in the end and small part in news no onna.and recently last year they played again in one episode drama Kimi Ga Kureta Natsu as a husband and wife,i really want to watch it but unfortunately is not available yet with Eng subs.

they also played some good dramas by themselves with another actor/actress.I recommend some of the dramas of them :
1.Hideaki Takizawa(singer/actor/model): News no onna(Anchor woman),You are my maddona, S.O.S,Majo no Jouken,Dive deep,.
2.Kyoko Fukada(actress/model):News no onna,Kami sama Mou soukushi dake,S.O.S, friends,Fugoh Keiji.
i only write what i've watch and there are more of their drama than in the lists i make. i hope i can see some of the drama or movie of them both playing together again in the future.

there are also some other couple that paired together more than once beside them.like Erika Sawajiri and Yamada Takayuki(Taiyou No Uta and Tegami),Kou Shibasaki and Satoshi Tsumabuki(Orange Days and Dororo),Aibu Saki and Hayami Mokomichi(Regatta and Zettai Kareshi),Yamashita Tomohisa and Masami Nagasawa(Dragon Zakura and Proposal Daisasuken)Takuya Kimura and Takako Matsu(Long Vacation,Love generation,Hero).but for me Kyoko-chan and Takki-kun is no.1 always for Japan idol's couple.

update : i read rumors in youtube.com that they are dating now.wow its even make me happier! i hope not only dating but into marriage as nanako matsushima and her husband who played GTO.

new hindi movie's couple(ash and hrithik)

beside SRK and kajol,now i have new favorite couple in hindi movie.Ash and Hrithik.the symbol of perfection from top to toe in their body for people to see them.handsome and pretty.good chemistry in their two latest movies Dhoom2 and Jodhaa Akbar.

although both of them already married and nothing special  in their relationship rather than only good partnership in movie roles.i love to see them again if there will be new movie.coz i got dissapointed when i see krrissh movie when he paired with Priyanka Chopra who cant dance well.

Hrithik and Ash is hellava good dancers,i like watching them dance in their movies.they're the second rank after SRK and Kajol in Favoritism lists..

detective conan(manga,anime and live action)

Kudou Shinichi is an extremely popular 11th-grader who dreams of being the world's next Sherlock Holmes. The son of a famous mystery novelist and lovely actress, Shinichi has made a name for himself as a brilliant detective, always helping the police solve baffling mysteries much like his idol Holmes.

This obsession with crime-solving tends to grate on his pseudo-girlfriend Mouri Ran's nerves, though. She can't help but feel a bit threatened by Shinichi's dangerous lifestyle...and by the popularity it brings. So she jumps at the chance to get Shinichi alone on a "date" to an amusement park where, much to her dismay, a murder occurs that Shinichi *naturally* solves.

However, when Ran and Shinichi split up for just a short time, Shinichi witnesses a suspicious negotiation between two mysterious men in black. He is caught eavesdropping, and is poisoned by the two men and left to die. However, rather than killing Shinichi, the poison reverts him back into an elementary-school boy!

Bent on finding the mysterious men in black again, and discover a cure to the poison, Shinichi takes on the name Edogawa Conan and lives a double life as "Shinichi's cousin," in order to keep his survival a secret from those that poisoned him. He is taken under the care of Ran and her father, Kougoro, a burnt-out, divorced detective who is past his prime. On the road to finding those mysterious men in black, Conan and his friends solve case after case, all while keeping his true identity a secret.
comments : i like the manga a lot, and i've been thinking if one actor chosen to become conan,he should be handsome but mysterious,the same goes for Ran,but unfortunately i lose it and get dissapointed when i see the live action drama.its just too bad for the character.for the storyline is ok just the character is not good enough,i dont like shun oguri to be shinichi,i prefer ikuta toma in serious face or matsu jun.the good part is the the girl that poisoned with the same drugs as conan is exactly like the cartoon character,i like her.but the rest is a bit pushy.i hope if one day another manga come to live such as kenshin,bleach,inuyasha or even naruto,they can find a better actors who can play them and the image of the face is exactly as the manga.

maison ikkoku(manga and drama)

When the previous landlord of the Maison Ikkoku decides to retire, he sends Kyoko to be the new landlord. Yusaku almost immediately falls in love with her, but due to the meddling of the other boarders in the building, he has trouble expressing this to her. He tries multiple time throughout the series, but is almost always interrupted by others or is misunderstood by Kyoko, causing frequent and brief fights. When Kyoko joins a women's tennis team, Yusaku then has to compete with her handsome coach, Shun Mitaka, for her affection. Shun insists on marrying Kyoko and tries to convince her to not marry Yusaku because Shun has more money and a better job situation. Despite this, Kyoko remains indecisive about the issue for some time. Partway through the series, a new tenant arrives at the Maison Ikkoku, Nozomu Nikaido. He is 18, younger than Yusaku and is extremely dense, though intersted in Yusaku and Kyoko's relationship, as a part of the story's events. Yusaku and Kyoko's relationship gradually improves over the story to the point where Kyoko is earnestly hoping for a marriage proposal from Yusaku near the end.
comments: bagus bgt! saya baca manga dulu baru nonton dramanya.rame,meskipun tdk semua adegan romantisnya yg dimanga ada di dramanya.tapi chemistry antara pemain didrama bagus koq.apalagi itoh misaki pas bgt meranin otonashi kyoko yg cantik.ini memuaskan dibanding adaptasi zettai kareshi atau honey clover yg rada mengecewakan dibanding manganya.

my friend :true or false

friend or a friend.

i have a few friends only, since im not that likeable person who can enjoy making friend with many people.but the friends that i consider a close friend are always make me feel down with the way they treat me as a'good friend'.

i thought after all the years i spend the time together with them i would now that they r only thinking nothing more but themselves more in a few ways.
i want to tell how my friends are,actually rather odd,
1.one of my friend is coming from a rich family who always get what she wants in her life.anything she ask to her parent will be granted as she is the only daughter in the family.but because of that,she turned into someone who sometimes underestimate other people feeling especially her own friends,she's not really adapt to the society since not all people can qualify to be her friends.i dont know what she saw in me,we can get along,but one thing i dont like abt her is when she find a new friend she will instantly leaving me behind and ignore me, sometimes she even pretends not knowing me.but when in time she got no one she can be with,she will come to me and force me to be with her the whole time.although i was with my other friend that time.i want to tell her how egoistic she is but she's not the type of person who will get easily understand what i mean.im afraid she will act the opposite way.so up until now i never get a chance to tell her coz she goes away to other city a few weeks after i get married.

2.this was my friend in school,we're together for about 6years!but during that time also,i feel cheated by her.when we're together for the 3years time in school,everything was ok.but suddenly all changed.the fourth year of our togetherness,we entered new stage of school turn into a teen.we had the same class again but unfortunately she even pretended not knowing me and choose to be with other.i was very quiet that time until i never really say a word when she did like that.so i sit with a new person i barely knew since she choose other people.that was the first scar from her in my heart.the second was when a boy she had a crush on, liked me.she accused me of cheating her and stealing him away from me,meanwhile i didnt do anything since i didnt like him at all.although i explain that if he chased me without knowing that she liked him.i didnt pay attention at all but she tried to make vengeance by telling me how closed she was with the boy i like a few years ago.and the one thing i dont like from her is that she always brought up the past as if we're not moving on in life.im amazed one time she asked me if i still have a feeling to the person that i like when i was twelve,meanwhile im already a married woman.can u imagine?such a silly question.

3.this one i also help her to built her business.she was nice but the longer i know her there are things that i cant compromise in the end.lets say we hang around for like a few years(coz i dont believe person in only a few months or days).she sometimes didnt consider my feeling when she get angry she will blew up the whole things until the harsh words come out from her mouth.i never yell back at her since i still respect her and i cant do the same unless i really forced to do that.she's very sensitive and vulnerable,especially about men.but im only a normal human being too,im getting tired of this sometimes.but she is still a best friend,coz now i know the real reasons why she yelled and angry,its more abt business matter and i dont want to write it down here.

4.about this i dont know what to say.we're good friends but we hardly contact each other a few years lately since she moved to another city.she came from a rich family but the person is very down to earth.in life in friendship,we only argued and angry to each other only once.coz she knows me better and she supported me anytime.

so i just say that in making friends u just have to know what kind of person she/he is.