as i staring all over the room and try to figure out something to say to her,she comes back with two cups of coffee and some snacks.she, then gently sit on the soft couch face to face with me.it makes me even more nervous and im losing the words that i've been thinking just now.she asks what do i want,and i explain to her honestly in the end coz i cant find a fine excuse to give her.
she laughs and thanked me for caring her even in my dream.she says that she will be just fine and manage to take care of herself totally.she's right,how can i be so stupid to show up in her home like this and telling her my ridiculous dream?i dont understand that either,just that time the eager feeling controlled me to tell her.
unexpectedly,we share a long nice -not-boring conversation with each other,in fact we begin to get closer than before.i've never realized how the time went by so fast,and we spent almost 4hours talking many things. mostly abt our daily life, experiences, friends, work,except for one thing, abt love.
actually there were a big rush in my heart to tell her how i feel abt her,but somehow i couldn't do it.maybe i was scared of the answer,and i wasn't ready to be a broken-hearted man.so, i've decided to take my time and prepare for a better moment.i will be just her ordinary nice neighborhood-friend for her,and then become her close friend and so on.
my curiousity abt her is above all, i can no longer enjoying a good-night-sleep, and set my eyes on other girl,but only to her.
since im a loner quiet type of person,i dont tell anyone including my own family abt this,i only share it in my daily notes.
days went by,week after week, we both start to depend on each other more and more,everytime she has a spare time she invites me to drop by to her place and share lunch or dinner together and have a fun conversation,but no more than that.in some of the changes i have when im with her,i try to steal a moment to tell her my feeling but i always failed.i dont have enough courage to do it,im such a coward.my pride just wont let me, my logic,but until when will i hold this feeling?i dont know i just dont know...(to-be-continued)