Friday, April 17, 2009

coldhearted me...


i dont know what i really feel rightnow,coz all of the things is mix up in my mind.i dont know whether it is a confusion,guilt,angry,scared,depressed,or anything else that i could not mention here.all i know its like a huge burden in my shoulder and that i make everybody around me dissapointed.i know what i should've done but somehow inside me there is a frightened little girl whose terrified of what will happening if she took the step.she was just too scared to be left alone,ignored and have to watch unfriendly face.actually all she ever wanted was to be a good friend for the helpless old grandpa that she cared a lot,but somehow she finally didnt take the step coz she might be angered by the guardian of the grandpa.

im just tired with this sort of life,i dont know,today i feel very very depressed. sometimes i just lost the clue of what i should be doing,my mind just go blank within seconds.i just dont know what to do.if i told this to anyone ,i bet they'll blame me for what i did.

why the life seems tobe tiring for me lately...i just dont understand.as much as i try to comprehen it but i cant do it.or am i becoming a selfish brat who cares nothing but myself,and can't fulfill everyone's expectation of me.i want to do the right thing for once in my life,i want to know what i must do everytime new problem crosses the path that i take.pls God help me,make me strong just for this once again like You used to.i just want to runaway.......................

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