Monday, December 28, 2009

the grudge inside me

yesterday morning i started my day by cleaning and washing the clothes,until i hardly got time to rest a little,i must prepared for the next thing to do,go the prayer place.since the sun was shining so bright that moment,the thinking crossed my mind, i hoped for a great day today and great moment in the prayer place where i can get some refreshing thoughts and cleansing my mind from bad things along the day.

but maybe things just won't do as i expected.the first test happened right before my eye the moment i stepped in to the area of the prayer place.i had to deal with one of the person from the past,who awkwardly making some stupid actions in front of me,or rather playing stupid i just don't know.i tried to hold myself although it was really annoying to see this person reactions.i had tried a long long time to bury all the bad memories concerning this person but somehow i find it's not possible.the scar will remain in my heart always.forgive maybe,but not forget.

the 2nd thing was,the moment i go inside the holy place,i sat in one of the center part of the place although maybe a little bit far from the podium of the preacher.and a moment later a bunch of older ladies came and sat next to me and also behind me.when the ceremony began they 're just wouldn't stop talking and even talked bad about the person who open the ceremony,not to mention,the preacher was also becoming the victim of their unnecessary critics.i bet they were hardly looking at their own faces in the mirror to reflect what they just said.those who claimed better than the other were nothing but a bunch of gossipers who talk nothing but bullshits.

the 3rd thing was,i dont know why but everytime i saw this person,the bad feeling come to me and the memories of how this person acted toward the society had made me lose the respect long time ago.for worshiping the wealth and pride over anything and always judge people based only on his/her perspective.never think good about other but their weaknesses,as if s/he is the only perfect person in this universe.all that attitude made me sick to my stomach.

yes well,im not a perfect human either,i ,too, made so many mistakes,but i really despise those acts of the people above.i was born in a very ordinary family,raised with many limitations and never have my own wish but with my hand only(also with the help of God) to reach it,had never wish for the rest of my life to turned to be one of them.may God help me with that.ameen

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