Thursday, May 26, 2011
cloudy moments in my thought
Well, lately, things were just so blurry in front of me. And all I did for the past few days was nothing and insignificant. I've been feeling this way learning that I couldn't have everything as I want it to be. I've been preserving myself by putting the patience above everything else. However, the longer I hold on to it, the more hurts I feel inside me. Monster's ball and Killing me softly acted as the latest companions throughout my boring days in my solitude.
I wonder if God punished me for what I did, for I've been a lost soul among the bright lights around me. I intend to tighten my grips to the word faith, but sometimes it feels like holding on the flame of fire which suddenly crawls and burns my hands.
The dangerous of loving someone, the pain of being deceived by him or her that you've trusted with all of your heart, will left the un-erased scars inside.I had many scars as proof for I've been so fragile and wide-open for them without realizing the true intentions and the black hearts that grew within their bodies which poisoned me whenever I touch it.
I have lost my mind for I've been seeing only the angel face and not on the demon's appearance who controlled the whole package. It eventually turned me into someone different by the time goes by. I still look for the lost rope of faith and try to get a grip to it once again, and I wish God would help me along the way...